Heat

How can there be a God who loves us when sometimes our pain is more than we can take? How can he let us suffer if he really loves us so?

Well, I was thinking and have you ever lived in a Texas summer? Where each day the heat grows to an unbearable 105 degrees? What an amazing relief the day of 88 degrees is! How sweet the day smells when the rain has finally come. How cherished the soft breeze and the moments of peace in the wind.

Would we really learn to appreciate this beautiful day if we never knew different or would we complain about the heat of an 88 degree day? Would we spend all day indoors unaware of the beauty because of our ignorance? With our inability to know what beauty truly surrounds us?

God lets us endure our heartaches and our heartbreaks because we learn. We cherish. We see the world anew with a grateful heart. When we know where we came from, we learn to trust him. We learn to love him and when the tough times come back we know there will be a rainbow. We know we will see the light. We know we will make it to a happiness we would never know if we had not grown into the maturity to even notice it.

Grief

She buried her head as the rains came.

Soft and subtle at first, quietly tender.

She dared not to breathe or acknowledge them.


Stubbornly they continued and grew.

She could feel it rising inside her.

The tremendous need to release and let go.


When she opened her mouth for air

The sob came.


It rippled through her body like an earthquake.

Trembled through her soul.

A force of emotion finally released
For days she had control.


It was now she had to remember.

It was now she had to grieve.

No longer able to hear him,

And no longer able to see.


Never again was the first thought

That crept into her head

Simple words, but such meaning

Broken tears were shed.


Memories flashed like lighting

Almost too fast to see.

Shattered her heart with a longing,

For something that never would be.


The sadness was overwhelming,

The raw ache too much to take.

Falling so deep inside the pain,

Her heart was bound to break.


But after a while she'll push through

After a while she'll calm.

After a while she'll go on

She simply Must be strong.


But in this (brief) moment of weakness

In this rare moment of truth.

Be kind, be still, be silent.

She might just as well be you.

Grandmas House

Grandmas House


Ice cream with sprinkles,

And sourdough bread

Wallpapered forest,

An oversized bed.


Looking for Waldo,

Saying, "Lords Prayer"

Pretty Stationary,

Knowing you care.


Looking at Angels,

Covering walls,

Wilkomen sign,

And close to the mall.


Happy Halloween

With cousins to spare,

Merry Christmas to all,

Always something to share.


Always enough,

You loved us with care,

Never forgot

Grandma always was there.

U turn

I am stuck in a u-turn
With no where to go.
My mind keeps on tugging...
It won’t let me go.

.. ..

With everything changing,
It’s so hard to see.
The light through the tunnel
Is it pointed at me?

.. ..

I feel I should be strong
And give it away.
I know I should trust God,
But it’s so hard today.

.. ..

Today I am worried,
I’m restless and scared.
I’m angry and anxious,
I’m taunted, unshared.

.. ..
My thoughts keep on running
I am losing the race
Stuck in this circle
I still can’t keep pace.

.. ..

Moving in Limbo
What should I do?
My questions unanswered,
I lash out at you….

.. ..

So please forgive me.
My anger, my tears
I’m stuck in this U-turn
Trapped with my fears.

Regret

Lingering beneath the surface,
Is the guilt of past mistakes.
She hangs her head in sorrow,
Those things she cannot face.

She wonders if they see it,
The falseness in her smile.
How can they find her worthy?
They must be in denial.

She must keep trying harder,
Give them just a little more.
Maybe if she gives it all,
It will even out her score.

And yet she keeps on dying,
The soul with in her starves.
The gifts she has been given,
Hide deep behind the scars.

For Jesse

I love you more than yesterday,

I love you more than words can say.

I love you when you make me mad.

I love you when I miss you bad.



I love that you can make me blush.

I love that kiss, oh such a rush.

I love that you are who you are,

I love you even when you’re far.



I love that we are still a we

I love our talks... it’s easy

I love how passion still ignites

I love our love, it’s just so right.


I love you babe, you are my shield

I love my husband, always will

I love how lucky we must be

I love how simply “you love me”.



Sidenote: I wrote this when Jesse was traveling alot for work.

Cade's Day

Laughter and Legos,
A sleepy surprise.
Hot Wheels and Toy Story,
Light up his eyes.

Strudels for breakfast
We all sing a song
Take lots of pictures
He wont be young long.

Delighted by Tacos
And one big iced tea
Stories of labor
So happy are we.

Now we go splash
With so many friends
It’s a pool party
The fun never ends.

Cupcakes and Presents
Smiles galore
We wont soon forget
Who it’s all for

Daddy is home
Time for balloons
There is water inside
We play under the moon.

One last surprise
We’ll light up the sky
A few firecrackers
For my little guy.

Time now to rest
“Happy Birthday”s been said
Goodnight my big boy
Lay down your sweet head.